Relationships are some of the most rewarding parts of our lives, but also the arena where we can experience the greatest heartache. Life can feel dark and challenging when your foundation in life, your relationships, do not feel sturdy. There is wisdom in Ester Perel's quote that “the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”. Working to improve the quality of our relationships can be one of the most important investments we can make.
Couples therapy can be used to address a range of issues, including:
Arguments, loneliness, loss of closeness
Infidelity (cheating, emotional affairs, betrayal)
Difficulties arising during life transitions (buying a house; moving cities; children moving out)
Sexual topics (differing sex drives; performance anxiety; use of pornography)
Parenthood (role changes; miscarriage; difficulties conceiving)
Consensual non-monogamy (open relationships; polyamory)
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) is a therapy designed to repair or strengthen your intimate relationships by focusing on emotional connections. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFCT works with the deeper emotions that shape how partners interact with each other. There is an emphasis on first ensuring both partners have a sense of a secure, emotional bond. This bond is then used to open up new patterns of relating to each other.
EFCT can help you move through the steps of recognising and expressing your own emotions and needs, reshaping negative patterns of interaction, then establishing healthier ways of relating with your partner. Research has repeatedly shown that EFCT helps both relationship distress and personal mental health (e.g. meta-analysis by Spengler et al., 2024). Through therapy, couples are able to rebuild trust, feel more emotionally connected, and communicate without entering into spiralling arguments.
If you are interested in therapy, I encourage you to book an intake session to talk through your relationship. I am an accredited Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist with the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT). I use principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy in all my work, particularly when working with couples and families. I do face-to-face couples therapy in Springfield on Saturdays, and I offer online couples therapy on Tuesdays.
You can anonymously complete the Experiences in Close Relationships Scale - Short Form (ECR-S) below.
This questionnaire can help you to start identifying your general attachment style. Attachment styles strongly relate to how we function in relationships. Knowing more about your attachment style can help you to understand how you manage emotions and relationships.